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"Anger" "Ancient Wisdom - Rivers of Fire" "Inner Family Portrait (at the beach)" "Beggars Paradox" "Contemplating the Unconscious"
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1997, oil on canvas - 36x48"
$153,000,000 (714) 862-7225 The title of this painting was originally to be "Beggar at the Gate." The meaning of the painting was set in my mind before I started to work on it. I had the background finished and the figure drawn in, but I had not started to paint it. As with all the painting in this series, I was experiencing a considerable amount of conflict about it. A part of me did not want to do any of the paintings in this series, but than part of me felt I must! This painting was more difficult to work on than some of the others and certainly much more difficult than the one just before ("Portrait") it. When I say difficult I mean emotionally. After finishing the background, I could not motivate myself to go on working. I would just stare at it and feel almost paralyzed. Several times, I tried to force myself to work on it, but my mind would just go blank and I would sit in front of it unable to do anything more than stare at it perplexed; so I would give up and go away. This went on for some time. Then one day something happened that changed the meaning of this painting: I was very tired, (it was about six or 7p.m.) I usually don't try to take a nap that late, but I was too tired to do anything else, so I laid down hoping to sleep. I must have (so much of the time I am not sure) because when I looked at the clock about twenty minutes had passed. The room was darker. Even though the blinds were closed, there was enough light to see. While still in bed, I looked over at the painting. I was surprised to see right in the middle of the two hands, a light was glowing. It was a yellow orange glow with an oblong shape. There was no other light or reflection in the room, just in the middle of the two out stretched hands. At first, I tried to pass it off as just an interesting natural occurrence. The window (the only one in the room) faced west and the painting was on the south side of the room facing north. I know the light had to be reflecting off something, but I could not see from where. The light did not move as I expected it to. It seemed to me, that as the sun was setting, the light should have moved with it, but it did not. I t just stayed in the same place for too long a time. I began to feel this light was something more than just an interesting natural phenomenon. The more I looked at the light in the middle of the two out stretched hands the more I felt God was telling me something. I kept asking, “Lord, what does it mean?” the “Light” changed my original concept of what I thought this painting was supposed to be. I knew I had to add the light to the painting. After I finally finished (4 to 6 weeks later) painting the figure, it was time to add the light… Part of me did not want to. From the beginning, I felt conflicted and uncertain about this painting, now this “Light”… Nothing like this has ever happened before. I added the light the best I could, but I didn't like it. I thought about removing it, but when I did, I felt it would, somehow be wrong or unfaithful of me to do so. The painting remained as it was. September 13, 1997 - After weeks of thinking about it, I feel the glowing light was telling me, no matter how poor we think or feel we are we all have a treasure within us. We all have something we can share with others. The “Light” was revealed to indicate the source of our treasure is within us. Most of us (myself included) search for the external treasures of the outside world, not looking inside, for what God has put in each one of us to share with others. The “Light” is Jesus Christ and the treasure is Faith in Him!
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